What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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