thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
