I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
