i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
