i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize