Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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