I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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