This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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