What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
