remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
