I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
