So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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