Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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