Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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