The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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