y did u give ur computer a hand job?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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