my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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