I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize