dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
