we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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