No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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