i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
