Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize