i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
