I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
