Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
