im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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