How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize