i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
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i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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