so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
