Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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