I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
