DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
