So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
