finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
