whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
