I faked an abortion last night.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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