If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
