Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
