so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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