Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
