I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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