Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
