So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
God, I missed his penis.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
