Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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