I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
