STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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