Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
