Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
