Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
