Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i think i just lost a toe
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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