OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
