how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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