I am spending my child support on dildos
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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