why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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