i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
