I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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