you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
