butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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