love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
