Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize