Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
