she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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