Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
