Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
