i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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