somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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