Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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