ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
