dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
