you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
