i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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