Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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