well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
